A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face."
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
When i was in primary school
I was eating my packed lunch one day but i really needed to do a shit. but i had a rather large lunch that day and was determined to eat it all before i went to the loo. unfortunately i didn't last long enough and did a bit shit in my thick wooley tights. i was so embarrassed about it that i didn't do anyhting about it.
that afternoon my friend rachel's mum was picking me up. we all piled in the car and she dropped off another kid and then turned around and said "let me check your shoes! someone has stepped in dog poo!" finding no dog shitters, she carried on. i promptly burst into tears as soon as i got home as the shit had travelled down my leg and solidified into little lumps.
that afternoon my friend rachel's mum was picking me up. we all piled in the car and she dropped off another kid and then turned around and said "let me check your shoes! someone has stepped in dog poo!" finding no dog shitters, she carried on. i promptly burst into tears as soon as i got home as the shit had travelled down my leg and solidified into little lumps.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Redneck Joke
Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?'
The second redneck replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!'
One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!'
The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?'
The second redneck replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)